warm light on a winter's day

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 05:35:09 GMT

you know those times when you feel like your friends have let you down? Those times hurt, they are rare, but when they happen it really affects you. or maybe thats just me.

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 02:26:10 GMT

I love my mom and would never, ever dream of anyone else as my mother. With that said, she has now become one of the most annoying people I know. She talks just for the sake of talking, which means constant obvious statements. All of her stories she will tell me about 3 times in the span of about 2 hours. Imagine trying to act intrested in a story you just heard about a half hour ago. She tries to bring up sentimental conversations which the instant I shoot down she feels bad and then proceeds to make me feel bad as well. Don't think I'm a bad person for writing this, I realllyyy get along with my mom, just sometimes its so frustrating, so sorry I had to voice my frustration somewhere. I can't wait to move back up to slo.

Tue, 07 Aug 2007 00:11:44 GMT

I was watching snl with shia lebeouf and he said "I'm twenty years old and hosting snl". Initially I thought Shia's wayyy older than I expected him to be. But then I thought about it and twenty is about a year and a half away for me. I'm getting old, I'll be twenty in a year and a half.

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 18:07:35 GMT

Before we take this ride and let it slide
into the cracks where fall and winter collide,
I surrender all my gall in a song of modern love.

:)

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 04:32:32 GMT

Seriously, James Mercer could fart into a microphone and it would sound like heaven. He is a musical genius and I'm completely obsessed with him.

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 05:31:04 GMT

I never thought I would have homework over the summer... guess I was wrong. Also getting up at 7:00am mon-thurs definitely makes you tired A LOT earlier than usual. Basically its 10:25 and I'm ready to go to bed. I haven't fallen asleep this early since highschool. I need a job. badddd. I feel like once I have that whole thing worked out I'll feel a lot better.Also there's this lab report I guess we had to do ( I didn't go to lab considering I felt like I was going to throw up and I couldn't find the classroom) annnddd basically I did about half of it. So pretty much I'm hoping they're worth nothing so it won't kill my grade. cause failing physics the second time around just doesn't sound like a good time. make me laugh:)

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 22:25:42 GMT

I was just going through old entries and I realized about 2 years ago I was an idiot. or at least I talked like one. So I wanted to use this entry to formally appologize for my frequent use of like (in writing!), saying phrases like "i heart", or using so in the context like "i'm so ready for this" or some shit like that. sorry to everyone who had to endure that. oh and also for the whole lomg thing. bah I was ridiculous. also why do I have a picture on this that says "I rule"? I'm a faggot.

o and I know I've mentioned this before, but does someone want to take me to the UK August 24-26th so I can go to the Leeds festival. Thanks that would be great. O and can someone find me a job. That would help out a lot too.

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 05:22:19 GMT

Does anyone still use livejournal?? I really don't (kinda obvious I know) and really the only reason I am is because I'm bored in a dorm room. college is great, not homesick and loving every minute of it. hopefully i won't fail any classes. hmmm. i think i put in enough studying time? about 15-20 hrs?? I mean its not 25-35 but its close. right??

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 03:22:58 GMT

Lately I've become so lazy when it comes to school like by never doing my homework. ever. Hopefully I'll get out of this mood soon. Good news, college apps are officially done, except for the last two private schools I hope to apply to. But its just so nice to have that nagging feeling of college off my back.
oh-emm-gee on the way home today i saw this guy in a ranger, totally looking like a tough construction type who pack their lunches in little tin cans, kinda ryan atwood-like. so anyways he was in his ranger and i look closer and totally see this cat by the back window, and if that wasn't strange enough, he starts to nuzzle it with his head and it pretty much made my day i was laughing so hard.
oh yea senior picture was today that was fun, it just seems like I'm in senior year, but I'm just kinda in it as an observer. I love this year, but I just thought that I would FEEL like a senior, but I definitely dont. However, I still love it and think it is the best year of my highschool life BY FAR.

Sat, 05 Nov 2005 01:06:11 GMT

ok so i don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing; calc tests are ALWAYS wayyy easier than the homework. now at first glance this may seem like a good thing, but the stress i go through day of a test seems to make it seem like a bad thing. I just keep thinking this is just an fluke next one is going to be way hard, but it never fails, they are CONSTANTLY EASIER THAN ANY HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT FROM THAT CHAPTER. just wanted to voice my confusion.

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 06:08:22 GMT

I've tripped.

It just seems so different this time around.

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 00:37:33 GMT

soooo I just weighed myself

and it said I weighed 813 pounds.

guess i better start hitting the gym and laying off the hot cheetos.

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 04:09:19 GMT

I think I'll drive to school tomorrow....

by myself...

cuz I got a license weeee!!!!!!

Sat, 03 Sep 2005 23:33:29 GMT

Allie and I are now 16 episodes through OC season 2, which means only 8 more left and then..... SEASON 3 PREMIERES ON THURSDAY!

Also. I love highschool. well right now I do. Last night we went to the JV game and it was way fun and then BJ's afterwards which was wayy cool too. I cannot wait until Friday, for our first game of my senior year, lomg I'm way excited. Another thing, I thought I wasn't supposed to have a lot of homework my senior year, well, IT'S JUST AS MUCH AS ANY OTHER YEAR grrr. I was looking forward to sleeping through class and then coming home and doing nothing.blah. Also I think I've narrowed down my perspective colleges to the state schools, I used to want to go to a UC, but now, I'm not so sure... to be honest, Cal Poly SLO is looking pretty good, but I'm not sure if I could get in, we'll just have to wait and see.

oh yea, today they played Damnit by Blink 182 and I got so excited that they were playing that instead of like all the small things. HEY does anyone have the new black eyed peas cd or know if its good, cuz i pretty much want it real bad.

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 00:05:51 GMT

K today some of the cheer girls, like 12 of us, surprised the football players at the airport at 6:30 this morning (we met at the school at 5:30 cuz we are THAT dedicated) and gave them candy necklaces we made and just wished them luck. It was weird cuz a lot of these guys i hung out with a lot over the summer and at least talked to a lot over the summer as well. Now they're leaving for a week and the weirdest part is that I already miss them. Which brings me to the whole point of this entry; I miss these guys who are just leaving for a week, imagine when we ALL leave for college, meaning i won't be able to see ANY of my highschool friends 5 days a week for, well, the rest of my life. weird.

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 23:28:53 GMT

Ever have that feeling where you're awake, but your body still thinks you're sleeping.

pretty much have that feeling right about now.

oh yeah, school starts tomorrow.

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 21:23:14 GMT

1st period: economics, vanderhyde

2nd period: spanish, heeb

3rd period: english, peterson

4th period: asb, blum

5th period: calc, mergens

hollar at em!

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 05:02:02 GMT

T-minus 11 days.

Yess that is right, in 11 days I am starting school. I feel like this summer was cut short, like there are soooo many people I wanted to hang out with and sooo many things I wanted to do, but just never got around to them. So now in these next few days, I am trying to cram it all in. I feel like the school should call or something when there is only a month left of summer, just to remind everyone that these days are coming to an end.

Next thing, now I know what everyone means when they say executive council is all behind the scenes. I mean, I've only done like not that much stuff for ASB this year, but I know that I am going to be doing a whole lot. Like, I don't know, I feel like we look at everything we have to accomplish and everything just seems unreachable, like impossible to achieve. I know this is just because its the beginning of the year, but still, I can't help but feel intimidated. I am also really nervous for our first workday tomorrow, like we won't have control of the class or the meeting just won't run smoothly or people may just look at us and think this just doesn't feel right. I mean I am way excited for ASB and being president and everything about it. Its just when I was told, you are going to be president, it came as a shock, because practically since sophomore year I had been preparing myself that I was going to be VP and Zack was going to be prez. I am almost still expecting to walk into the workday tomorrow and have him there and me be VP, just like I had planned in my mind for over a year. I hope to be a good prez, not let my emotions get involved as much as I can, keep the class in order as much as I can, and have as much fun as I can. Sorry for the large ASB rant, it has seemed to take over my life and thoughts already and I had to get it out somewhere.

also, got the temporary scheldule today and it just made me way excited because I realized that this is the easiest scheldule I have ever had at west hills, mmuuucchhh better than my junior year, and best of all I only have 5 classes, with one AP which is calc and I am so looking forward to that.

alright, so I pretty much believe this is my longest lj entry ever, lucky you.

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 02:54:29 GMT

I love how my friends say "i love you" before we leave or hang up the phone. I'm the luckiest girl in the world to know girls like the ones who i can call my best friends.
P.S. my mouse is being dumb and its kinda pissing me off, i'm not gonna lie.
P.S.S. by mouse i mean computer mouse

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 16:13:50 GMT

ummmm myspace isn't letting me sign on!!!!

someone shoot me for being so addicted.

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 21:11:03 GMT

I will wear this medal around my neck

just because

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 00:43:24 GMT

Usually around this time during the summer I am feeling not so good, cuz I know school is in less than a month. But this summer its been different. Now, don't get me wrong, I love summer and everything about it. But what makes the end of this summer so different is that it is the beginning of my senior year, the year I've been thinking about/seeing in ALL the teen movies since forever. I honestly can't wait for it to start, just to see where it takes me. One thing I am afraid of is that it will end before I even had time to savor it and really take it in. I get one more year with these people and then after that I'll probably only see 10% of them and only keep in touch with like 15%. This year coming up is MY year (oh yea and all you other 2006'ers) its almost bitter sweet. I'm soooo excited to be a senior, but I don't want it to end until I'm ready for it to. Now, if only I knew what my schedule was hmmmm...

Sat, 23 Jul 2005 07:19:59 GMT

i HEART lightning, except when it strikes people.

o o o annnddd having harry potter discussions with my friends those pretty much rock too.

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 05:09:49 GMT

I do believe there must be something in the water in this lovely town of Santee. Everyone, including myself, it seems are going through a lot of insecurities and asking themselves whats wrong and why me? Now I'm sure for some this entry will mean nothing and others it may comfort them. I know that I find it comforting when I realize that other people are dealing with the same insecure emotions that I am. I'm sure some are much more drasitic than others but I hope that this can help everyone who finds themselves either listening to Dashboard Confessional or slow cheesy love songs. Look a little further, a little harder, and I'm sure you will find a light at the end of this seemingly endless tunnel; or at least thats what I'm trying to do. k sorry for the emo entry, it seems to be the new trend.

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 06:22:21 GMT

couldn't of said it better

I've got a hunger
Twisting my stomach into knots
That my tongue was tied off

My brain's repeating
"if you've got an impulse let it out"
But they never make it past my mouth.

Baa bah, this is the sound of settling

Our youth is fleeting
Old age is just around the bend
And i can't wait to go grey

And i'll sit and wonder
Of every love that could've been
If i'd only thought of something charming to say.

Baa bah, this is the sound of settling

I've got a hunger twisting my stomach into knots.

ooo emo feeling please go away, i enjoy the playful emotions much more